Rejection…

tumblr_m35koeCKMX1r2o04io2_250It’s been almost a week since I was seriously deflated. I spent a majority of the past week questioning my writing ability + ideas due to the unfortunate rejection to the Clive Barker anthology. Mainly b/c I’d thought I’d come up w/ very original ideas + concepts. This is a piece that I’d have to completely rewrite since I cannot use the mention of Nightbreed or Midian as they are of Barker’s creation. Not sure when I will get the courage up to even start reading End of All Days again or able to edit. Until a few days ago I was completely unable to write at all (minus the review on Dallas Buyers Club below).

Found out others are curious about what happens to Ava in From Safety to Where (published in Roms, Bombs & Zoms). I had been contemplating adding more of her story in Just Like Honey (story collection), this may give me the extra push. I need to start working on my character building again + stop using my writer’s block as an excuse (even though it does happen + wine hasn’t been working recently).

kidding

Still trying to find a job + becoming seriously frustrated. Two more checks to tide me over, then start to freak out some more. Thankfully I’m not the one to get next week’s rent as I caught the prior week’s. Tomorrow I need to call somewhere I got an interview at to see where they’re at. I would love love love a job at a used bookstore more than words can express.

tumblr_mvbhycuL3N1suzl23o1_250Then there’s the day of doom pending. I don’t look my age at all, but on Thursday I am another year older. I’m thinking starting Thursday I will officially title it an ‘unbirthday’ from here on out. I’m thankful though b/c have family + friends who love me, a roof over my head + fighting chance. There’s someone in my life who thinks I’m absolutely beautiful w/ my flaws + all. There’s others who don’t have such things.

Trying to look at things optimistically. It’s a little on the tough side.

I’ve been doing watercolour, oil pastels, ink + drawing lately. I don’t have a scanner, but I might post some of the images when I take them w/ my phone. On that note, I’m going to continue watching some Louis CK stand-up + continue my oil pastel piece. If I get out two job applications before I unwind after that, I’ll be pleased w/ myself.

XO.

(Images: The Golden Girls, The United States of Tara, The Golden Girls)

Gutsy

DOOL paperworkThe real challenge is to push myself. I need to be more impulsive + gutsy. I won’t get anywhere w/o following my impulses, being brave or gutsy. I keep trying to tear a page from a workaholic friend’s book + made my workload a bit heavier.

I had to write a cover letter for one of the pieces I submitted, startled when I sat down to jot down my professional publication list. It sincerely stunned me as to how much I’ve built it up in an entire year. It’s getting to that stage for me.

I submitted Dead Souls to another anthology + hopefully it makes it. I won’t be real torn up over it since I can easily place it into my story collection. Additionally proposed a few ideas for an up + coming zine. I’m kind of completely hyped up over it + hoping that it works out.

Submitted End of All Days to the Clive Barker anthology barely on time. Not sure when I’ll find out on the status of the submission. I’m strangely hopeful. I really hope it makes it into there.

So here’s my status – waiting for a word on two print submissions.

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In other news; I am moving again. Trying to remind myself that I am a free spirit + can go where my heart or impulses lead me. Getting a job transfer, moving to a place w/ one of my best friends + the much needed freedom I need. There’s things here that I am not able to be around, such as greenery in a state where it is now legal + other things. I don’t know what I’m searching for, maybe one day I will return to live in Colorado, but it isn’t my time to be here. Dallas, Texas is familiar stomping grounds. Two best friends I haven’t seen face to face in years (besides on Skype) live in Dallas.

brittBeen accused of running away from things + childish for my decision, but I need to try something to be happy. There’s places in my life where I need to put up a few walls to figure myself out. Did make the agreement to visit at least every three to four months as long as my return flight was paid for. Not leaving Colorado forever, but w/o my own vehicle I don’t have the freedom to go anywhere much aside from errands or work. There’s a bus system in Dallas, while sparse here.

This is what happens when I don’t journal for ages.

On that note, I leave everyone w/ prior desktop captures I didn’t post + a recent desktop capture as I am pushing myself to write again. I lost the inspiration for art + the written word for a few months. A change of venue, location + scenery are necessary. I began drawing again for the first time in a long time too.

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(GIFS: Days of Our Lives, Easy A, General Hospital)

The Anxious Author

fiddleFinally received my copy of Cabal to get into the mode of working on End of All Days. I really need it to submerge myself into the concept of ‘monsters’ as it isn’t what I usually read or watch. The only ‘monsters’ I’m very familiar w/ in media are in crime dramas + horror movies. Monsters were never my sort of thing before, so it is definitely new grounds I am breaking. If someone told me I would go on to write about zombies a few years ago, I’d have been in disbelief + laughed terribly hard. Maybe it is the same for monsters? Besides, I need to branch out further in the horror field.

tumblr_molvht1zfi1s7gnr1o1_400It’s been a little too tough to even concentrate on reading w/ the stress of work. If it wasn’t such a roller coaster, things wouldn’t be quite so bad. Taking some St John’s Wart pills have helped balance my anxiety quite a bit, but not really enough. It’s still tough coming to grips w/ serious anxiety + something I am not adjusting well to; especially the restrictions placed on caffeine. It’s been half a year since it first became serious + I know I should be adjusted to it by now. Being on a prescription for nearly two months did help, then I cut myself off of the prescription as I don’t like medication. It pushed the extreme symptoms away + those haven’t risen again. For the most part there’s some chest pain + panicking when at work for the most part. Wanting to start yoga again on days off. I haven’t b/c I’m usually far too worn at the end of a work day. It used to do wonders.

In other news, I’m ready to destroy the printer/scanner, as I have been unable to figure out how to get the scanner working for weeks now. I’ve also successfully made it so I cannot even print off of the damn thing. Everyone else on the network can besides me since I’ve begun trying to figure out how to get the scanner to work. I really need it to work to scan in my artwork, update my sketchbook + try to get some work done as an artist. I did remember that my piece in Shifters isn’t my main debut as I had my design win a t-shirt contest w/ a successful band + it was printed on shirts for a few years. Besides that, nothing in a a long time, but that was my true debut.

wooshSo yes, nothing terribly exciting, but I realize I need to start blogging more often. Plus I’ve been cruising the internet for fitting gif images. Hopefully I get some reading done tomorrow, put in some writing time + get the evil scanner running.

XO.

(IMAGES: How to Steal a Million, VEEP + Alice in Wonderland)

Ice Queen in Bubblewrap?

tumblr_inline_mpu689oh4W1qz4rgpThere’s two types of people in the world; those who love to be close to people + those who prefer their bubble of space. Those who are close to people have absolutely no respect for the bubble of those in the opposite realm. It isn’t their fault as they’re blind to how uncomfortable it makes the other person, but it’s obnoxious all the same. They press too close to those who love their bubble of personal space too.

It should be blatantly obvious that I fall into the category of a bubblewrap girl. I have absolutely no issues w/ hugging family members + friends that have been very close to me for years. Sometimes a hug from someone very dear to me will uplift my day completely, but that list is extremely short. I never mind hugging children either. It’s been driving me up the wall lately when people get less than a foot away from my face, brush close to my shoulder or practically push me into a corner.

huggingThe touchy type tend to hug on instinct + it makes me nearly crawl out of my skin. I do not like to hug in greeting + upon saying goodbye unless it is someone I won’t see for a long time. Then I actually like to hug. The two friends I left behind in Utah I do not mind hugging at all, but then again I have known both of them for years. 

It was a strange thing when a mostly absent + distant friend crashed at my place w/ his friends. He came out of the van + hugged me instantly. I’d never hugged this friend before, but now the few times I do see him I look forward to the traditional greeting + goodbye hugs. Again, a rare exception.

This isn’t why I have a lack of social life these days. I do have what I consider to be a social life as all of my friends live distances away. One of my best friends, Krystin, is someone I met during my roughest days while living in Texas. I adore her to death + we both try to Skype at least once a week (if not more). There’s loads of other friends who like to Skype too, text or try to catch up somehow.

tumblr_mqbfu7oWDw1s729mdo3_250My boss asked me today if I do anything outside of the house + I found myself shrugging. I explained that what little free time I have is spent working on crafts, art or writing. I didn’t really go in depth into my writing as I’ve been trying really hard to keep personal matters away from work. Also mentioned how I’m trying to learn the ukulele so I can play a song as an apology of sorts to a very dear friend of mine.

The fact is that I do not notice that I don’t have much of a social life, as it is something that I personally choose. I am taking writing very seriously, crafting is my outlet + way of unwinding too. It’s something I can sit + do while socializing w/ my family. Mum is one of my best friends + I hang out w/ her whenever I have free time too. I don’t see anything wrong w/ it. We talk idly, catch up on our favorite soap opera, she gives me story ideas or tells me about interesting things she saw on television that might inspire me. Next week we’re hitting the movies to see Red 2 together since dad doesn’t care for the movie series anyways.

Being social in Colorado leads to one of two vices; alcohol or weed. I am fine w/ having the occasional beer, but try not to go beyond that + do not tend to go near hard liquor as of the past few years. There’s a deep history w/ greenery + I’m just simply staying away from it, even though it’s legal in this state. Writing is something that keeps me on the straight + narrow. It is something that I am working hard towards + it is my future.

I think very few realize how seriously I take it.

(GIF images: Cristina Scabbia, Toddlers + Tiaras, Cristina Scabbia)

Breakthrough

Earlier this month, my true debut as an artist finally happened + combined w/ my writing. This pleases me greatly as I want nothing more than to have a duel career as an artist/author. It does help that I’m swaying more towards the darker pieces when it comes to designs. It is official that I’ve broken through as an artist/author! I have a short story, flash fiction + a charcoal art on the interior. Three things in one anthology by the name of ShiftersAll of the proceeds from this anthology will benefit the American Humane Association’s Red Star Rescue Team, which provides disaster response services for pets and domestic animals.

I’m waiting for my copy in paperback to arrive via snail mail, but shall share when it gets here.

Dead Souls is back in effect, but a bit more elaborately than ever. Upped the creative stakes heavily by making it my mission to have an illustration just the opposite of the page of the short story + additionally design the cover for the book. It’s a huge challenge for me, which I am willing to undertake because I know I’m completely capable of it. I don’t have too much time to devote to it, but will whenever I get the chance + when my muse inspires me. It’s been an unusual transition for me as I did not write short fiction at all about two years ago.

In other news, it was kind of cool to get featured on the official facebook page for Roms, Bombs and Zoms. I know I haven’t really mentioned it, but I am in another anthology. It will be out some time in November. It is a piece that surprised those close to me as the topic was not something I usually touched bases on – strippers.

And yes, I did indeed let my mum read it. She reads everything I tend to push forward for publishing + anything in progress if she has the time. Lately I haven’t been sharing much at all with anyone as my muse has been a fickle bitch + I’ve lacked the time. I am pushing myself again lately, applying a friend of mine’s drive to myself + need to learn from him. I need to work on my projects whenever I’m not at work, helping out at the house or reading a book. Unfortunately, I’ve unpacked a lot of my books, an endless pile I have not read too. It’s funny as I am given books by others, find some on clearance or at an extremely good price. I just add it to the pile of books.

Received a check for my piece in Roms, Bombs and Zoms already. First check besides the one that was sent via paypal for A Quick Bite of Flesh. Finding there is a lot involvement on the authors’ end when it comes to publicizing + promoting. I need to buy a webcam to even do the newly requested.

There’s a giant to do list for me – involving getting a decent headshot for myself as an author as a business savvy friend pointed out that I really need one, scanning in all my art for two opportunities + more. Then the haiku collection has increased + may be a mix of things in the long run. I’ll keep adding to it, but there’s no real concrete plans. Additionally, I made up a giant list of things needed to be done for an official website + other such things. Balancing a duel career will prove to be very interesting + challenging.

Falling silent has been blamed upon illness in the family, but nothing life threatening. Nursing said family member to health after a surgery next week will prove to take up a lot of time. Prayers + good thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Then there’s the new job I have had for nearly a month now. It’s stressful + keeps me very busy with it. Due to helping out with the recovering post-surgery, it means I will be working eight days solid without a day off. The only days off will be spent helping with the recovery process, plus watching my niece when I am not helping take care of the healing. Any time that I am not working will be helping out all that I can in all areas.

So please excuse me, the excitement of all this catching up to me will hit eventually. Being included for the first breakthrough year with the independent label, Evil Girlfriend Media, is completely amazing – just quick on the promoting + such. I need pointers + tips for striving forward from the business savvy. I think I can do this all, it is a matter of getting adjusted to it + learning.

Alas, I leave everyone with the blurbs from the official facebook page for Roms, Bombs and Zoms, which is a bit fun. Added to my biography. More to come on the release date of the anthology when I discover it + perhaps more frequent updating. It is time for one of my favorite soap operas + to try for some sleep.

XO.

– – –

FROM SAFETY TO WHERE
Kris Freestone is a native of Las Vegas with fantastical plans to take over Antarctica. She appreciates fine wine and dancing with her penguin. She can be found with some secret plans online at https://vikingessa.wordpress.com/

What’s better than a zombie stripper? I can’t think of much. In Roms, Bombs, and Zoms we do have a couple of stories that have zombie strippers/prostitutes too! Katie Cord’s “Your Cheatin’ Heart” and Kris Freestone’s “From Safety to Where” definitely have a sexiness about them…

 

The Return…

A better, detailed post shall follow within the next few hours or tomorrow.

Yes, I shall be updating this more often again + hopefully at the very least, four times a week. I have a few books to read + review, movie reviews to post, update about writing triumphs + my current journey. Life happened to overtake me completely + began a new job. A lot on my plate.

There’s a few triumphs. Very good ones indeed.

And if I get the time? I’ll finally be able to sit down + read blogs on here.

Xo.